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Put Yourself First?

I am at peace.

Anxiety, misery, and chaos loves to find peace and embark on a journey to destroy it. I have been able to manage and maintain my peace throughout misery, pain, sorrow, loss, death, and chaos. I had released so many of these things from my life. The stressors of my life can plague me from time to time but I march forward even if I'm walking backwards! Putting myself first feels like abandoning others. It hurts in a way to choose me. Well it hurt in the beginning. Day by day it becomes easier to choose myself and my feelings before others. I have been a very dependent person for most of my life and the journey to becoming independent has friegtened me for years! At times I don't know if I can make it but I never give up. Even when I was down bad on many occasions I kept pushing through the storm! "The destination is the journey ", a wise man once said! For a large part of my life it felt like I was living in a sand storm. High winds, rain, and sand blinding me every step of the way. Today I have witnessed the clear skies that periodically call for a chance of sandy rain storms but mostly clear skies. I've reached a place I didn't know I could get to but more importantly get to and maintain! I'm maintaining my peace and my love for myself. I'm learning to put myself first. Prioritize my wants and needs without feeling selfish. Being selfish isn't always bad. It can be extremely good for one's self. Changing my tone I use to speak to myself so I can feel better!


Have a Major Day

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